TOPIC: Re: 2008 Token Guide ????

<br />You know he just croaked a few days ago, right?<br />

<br /><br />Yes I did.  Hence quotes from the Myth books.

Probably not new to anybody, but it's funny anyway!<br /><br />ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?<br />WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"<br />ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?<br />WITNESS: My name is Susan! <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?<br />WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ <br /><br />ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?<br />WITNESS: No, I just lie there. <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?<br />WITNESS: Yes.<br />ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?<br />WITNESS: I forget.<br />ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ ____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo? <br />WITNESS: We both do.<br />ATTORNEY: Voodoo?<br />WITNESS: We do.<br />ATTORNEY: You do?<br />WITNESS: Yes, voodoo. <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he <br />doesn't know about it until the next morning?<br />WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ ______<br /><br />ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year- old, how old is he?<br />WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.  <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ ____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?<br />WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ __<br /><br />ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? <br />WITNESS: Yes.<br />ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?<br />WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid! <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?<br />WITNESS: Yes. <br />ATTORNEY: How many were boys?<br />WITNESS: None.<br />ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?<br />WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different <br />attorney. Can I get a new attorney? <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ <br /><br />ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?<br />WITNESS: By death.<br />ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?<br />WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it? <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____ <br /><br />ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?<br />WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.<br />ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?<br />WITNESS: Guess.<br /><br />____________ _________ _________ ________<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead <br />people?<br />WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to <br />rephrase that? <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ __<br /><br />ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? <br />WITNESS: Oral. <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ __<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?<br />WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.<br />ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? <br />WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an <br />autopsy on him! <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ _________ _____<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?<br />WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?  <br /><br /> <br />____________ _________ _________ ________<br /><br />And the best for last:<br /><br />ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a <br />pulse?<br />WITNESS: No.<br />ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? <br />WITNESS: No.<br />ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?<br />WITNESS: No.<br />ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began <br />the autopsy?<br />WITNESS: No.<br />ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? <br />WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.<br />ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?<br />WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing <br />law<br /><br />

Yes, I am still working on the guide, I am having trouble with the conversion to PDF format (Acrobat is having problems with the document).  I am working on it, however.<br /><br />Dave

Good luck with those bloody computer things!<br />

have you tried talking into the mouse. 

You're waxing your mouse, trying to make it go faster!<br />

i was thinking of the scene from "star trek - the voyage home". the one where they time travel to get the grey whales. scotty is trying to operate the computer at some 20th century plexiglass manufacturer.<br /><br />it is one of my all time favorite movie scenes.

I knew that - I had just watch Weird Al's "It's All About the Pentiums."<br /><br />I should have responded thusly:<br /><br />"Just use the keyboard, professor."<br /><br />"A keyboard?  How quaint."<br /><br />(great scene, Sir Smakalot!)<br />

<br />Yes, I am still working on the guide, I am having trouble with the conversion to PDF format (Acrobat is having problems with the document).  I am working on it, however.<br /><br />Dave<br />

<br /><br />If it's not an Acrobat document to begin with, I'd just use PDFCreator.<br /><br /> www.pdfforge.org/products/pdfcreator

Dave Radtke (and company) have spent a great deal of time crafting the 2008 Token Guide (v7.0).  It should be posted in a few days -- if not sooner.  The exhaustive tome is now 93 pages (!) and it is complete with a great index and numerous appendixes.<br /><br />Great job Dave and crew (proof-readers)!

<br />If it's not an Acrobat document to begin with, I'd just use PDFCreator.<br /><br /> www.pdfforge.org/products/pdfcreator <br />

<br /><br />There is a fair amount of linking that I do in Acrobat.  The table of contents is fully linked and there are quick jump links at the bottom of each page to take you back to the TOC.  The only place I did not link this time (no one seemed to care) was the Glossary.  <br /><br />The quirks in the Acrobat conversion, only affected a few pages, one paragraph came through as centered, and in the FAQ it was breaking the numbered list funny in a couple of places, but other than that it seems to be behaving now.<br /><br />Dave

Also, much gratitude goes to Brian S, Linda P, Gary A, Douglas E, and John W for their assistance with typo identification and logic edits.<br /><br />Dave<br />