(written in response to a comment Jeff made on Facebook)<br /><br />Dear Jeff, True Dungeon sucked, and this is why:<br /><br />I dropped my luggage (containing all my tokens) on my foot, while bringing it to the airport. This is obviously your fault for switching to those heavy gold-piece composite tokens, and not my own fault for wanting to lug along sooo many of the bloody things, hoping to make some killer trades. My foot hurt for the rest of the Con, and my game was totally off because of it. <br /><br />The Golden Ticket run was late, and our group Died due to lack of proper preparation in the Coaching room. How dare you give away *FREE* runs, with tons of cool stuff, trying to make your customers happy, when all you are doing is setting them up for failure by letting them run the dungeon before the kinks are all worked out? And that "Shrine" room before the run, where I got my Uber-cool "Assassin" character card to play with for the rest of the Con? I was so happy about that, I couldn't help but stop to show it to everyone I bumped into going down the hallway towards Coaching. Of course, this means the fact I got to coaching late was definitely *your* fault. <br /><br />I didn't get a couple of the puzzles, and my group took push damage. Since I am brilliant, obviously your puzzles must suck, and that means True Dungeon sucks. I refuse to even contemplate the possibility that I'm not as smart as I think I am.<br /><br />The super-slick Smoak board was unfair. Those of us who have been playing for years were at an even greater disadvantage than the new players, because we've gotten used to slower boards, and our muscle-memory made us shoot way too hard. Think about it: If we were really fighters in a fantasy world, we'd all be practicing against Red Dragons *every day* and totally know how much effort it took to slay one. Plus, we'd have passed some sort of law about how all Dragons must have a much bigger vulnerable spot, because that little 20 in the mouth was impossible to hit. <br /><br />Also, we got only 3 rounds to try killing Smoak. It was a waste of time to make us all wait in that hallway for 3 minutes before we got up to the combat board, and then force us to listen to the color text. If we didn't waste all that time, I'd have had *lots* of time to argue with the DM for 3 minutes about how my saving throw was actually a save, not a fail, and that it was the coaches who screwed up writing our party card (while I sat there with my tokens scattered all over the table, offering to change equipment for other players who'd already had their stats written down). <br /><br />And then, when there was a full minute left in the room, we were told we were dead, and to pack up. I demand that next time, we're allowed to play right up to the last second, before we're told we have to pack up and move out. It'll only take us a couple minutes to pack all our gear (and take a few last-minute pics of the dragon), and I'm certain the DM can move at warp speed to gather all his stuff and reset the room, and then bring in the next party before they start to bitch about being left in that hallway for 3 minutes.<br /><br />Basically, I'm saying that your idea of running True Dungeon is great, but next year you need to break the laws of physics and probability (and possibly bend the rules of human nature) in order to make sure *I* enjoy myself fully. Oh yeah - and see if you can do all that for only $20/person. I'm tired of being gouged for this outrageously expensive event.<br /><br />Thank you for listening to this constructive criticism.
